Comments on: Advice on father daughter relationships?

By: MEAcat

MEAcat — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:35:40 +0000

Try to keep from burning bridges, but it’s OK to not see him for a while. Also I would suggest asking your mom/teacher/pastor to help you get through this adjustment period in your life. Getting into group therapy would help you understand what’s normal to feel when your parents trash their marriage and what is teenage high drama. I didn’t and made many of the classic mistakes. One of the best books for you might be “Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess-up their Life ” or “Bad Childhood Good life”both by Dr. Laura S

By: lyn

lyn — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:02:57 +0000

I THINK YOU HAVE A COMMON PROBLEM THAT A LOT OF OTHERS ALSO HAVE. IF YOU DON’T HAVE TO SEE HIM DON’T, GLAD YOU DID WRITE HIM THE LETTER. GIVES HIM AN IDEA OF HOW YOU FEEL.

By: TiggY

TiggY — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 22:30:49 +0000

i too am a Daddy’s baby, and have experienced the same feelings. You definately cannot distance yourself from him, then the ex wins!! You see, the more you fight the situation, the closer they will become. He is a man that can make his own decisions, but you need to be there for him, dont distance yourself! Stay as close to him as you possibly can, because you may have good reason for feeling this way about her, and he will soon figure it out, if you are right!! Although you cannot love him or give love to him the way she can, she cannot love him the way you can. . . and he will always be your Daddy, no matter what, he is only her man for the moment!! Good Luck!

By: madman

madman — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 22:06:39 +0000

I have read the others and agree in a way, you have to set your own feelings aside, if being with her makes Him happy, then be happy for him ! You do not need to end a relationship with him because he wants to be with her, you don’t have to see her if you dont want to. Just make sure that you do not “put her down” while you are around your father. Go home and use your pillow as an ” ANGER MANAGEMENT ” tool !!!

By: mortgage man

mortgage man — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:29:10 +0000

Talk to your dad privately, not your step-mom. It’s really between you guys not her. Without other details that you haven’t divulged, it’s difficult to understand why you’re angry at him. Is it because he divorced your mom? If so, that’s the starting place to try and get resolved. I don’t know how old you are, but chances are in not too many years from now, you will heading out on your own and starting your own family. Do you believe your dad should live alone the rest of his life in penance for messing up your life? It’s blatantly obvious that what you do need to do is at least talk (not yell) with him. It probably won’t solve all your issues but may be a starting point to get your life back on track.

By: Martha S

Martha S — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:59:55 +0000

I am a step-mother and I was a step-daughter. I hated my step-mother with a passion. She was lazy, nasty, forbid me to visit my father etc but I never let it effect the way I felt about my dad because for whatever reaon he loved this woman and she mad him happy. You have to understand that although your father loves you he also has a life of his own and doesn’t want to spend it alone. For some reason he loves this woman and wants her in his life and you staying away is hurting him and letting her win. We can’t fall out of love with someone just because someone else wants us to.

By: short_punkette03

short_punkette03 — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:02:44 +0000

You shouldn’t be that way towards your dad. No matter what he’s still your dad. He’ll love you even if you hate him. My dad and I didn’t always get along but I told him how I felt and I had to re-think about the way things are and just understand how he felt. Look, nobody in this world is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. But you should at least sit down and talk to him and let him know how you feel. And why don’t you like your stepmom? You should talk to her too. Having parents in your life is important.

By: nessa

nessa — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 19:09:24 +0000

if he still loves her for some reason-even though she might be bad for him- loves is blind. the only thing you can do since he is your father is try to understand him. let me know how you feel once but do not bring it up again. show him respect by going to christmas get togethers even if you cant stand the women. He is who you love and you dont want to cut the relationship that you have with him because of a women that might be gone again in the next year.

By: larry r

larry r — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:13:35 +0000

Just follow through on what you said in your letter. Your dad is able to make his own decisions just as you are for your life. It sounds like, for now, you’ll go your separate ways. Hopefully, you will be able to rebuild the relationship over time. You may want to get some counseling for your own anger and bitterness so they don’t cause you more problems.

By: just_another_rainy_day

just_another_rainy_day — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:23:08 +0000

how did the letter thing go? i’ve tried that with my dad once, but he doesn’t make an effort to change.